Last Battle Lost

Failed. I'm officially a failure now. That's it. I don't feel any type of way. I'm too tired to feel anything . I'm too tired to want to tell people. I'm too tired. I feel like going to sleep and never waking up again .... atleast for a long time ... No, I'm not suicidal ... I'm tired . .. I'm so tired that I'm dead . Not dead enough to not want to live .. dead enough to want to sit in a corner and do nothing .

 

 

No, I'm not giving up. I can't. I don't want to. I want to sleep. Sleep over everything.  There are so many things....I don't even know if I can do this ... I probably can't ? I'm convinced that I can't. I will still try.... because that is how stupid and obstinate I am. 

 

 

Nobody wants to understand ... nobody will .. and also ... I'm too tired to want to explain. Maybe I deserve this ... I don't know ... I don't want to know ... how does it make a difference ... I feel dead anyway ... I'll bounce back ... I know that ... Someday i will ... I trust myself ...and contradict myself ... basically I'm a loser that is going to get back up.

 

 

I don't know how ... but I will. 

 

 

 

#superwomanletsrock

 May 26 2016 , 10:32 AM IST

 

 

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Comments (18)

  1. Nightbane

    sounds a bit of depression and sunnat in your day to day life a bit overwhelming.
    Instead of trying to tell yourself you can’t and how awful you are for trying, try taing the attitude, " Let’s find out! " In the end, it may not work but you can make a jolly good go of it and will be able to live with yourself far more comfortably if you know the failure was not for want of every last thing you could do and try to make it happen.
    all experience is learning experience, even allged failures.
    no person is ever judged by failure, a person is judged by what that one does in the wake of them.
    Failure, schmailure. It aint over til its over and you’re near dead yet.
    The only failure I know is to give up without having given effort.

    May 26, 2016
    1. Nightbane

      and perhaps this will be of some small use….

      May 26, 2016
    2. superwomanrocks

      Yes .. I know you’re right … just that I’ve been at this for too long …
      Please be around to tell me to shut up and believe in myself ..
      Also .. I’m too obstinate to give up .. that’s a good thing !

      May 26, 2016
      1. superwomanrocks

        Thanks .. I’m so taken up by things .. forgot to thank you ..

        May 26, 2016
        1. Nightbane

          You are not obstinate, you have what a Yank I know calls sticktuitiveness. Is a good thing, you know, too many simply give up at first little resistance.
          ~
          I will not tell you to shut up. NO being has that right. I will suggest , when those nagging little voices start their interminable shit, that you may tell them STFU. after a time, they do, you know.
          ~
          I will recommend believing in yourself and if you seem short of self belief today or any other day, borrow mine.
          ~
          I will also say with fair certainty the dear Gentlebeing just below is spot on and a very wise being. Fortunately for you, she is a tad more succint than meself. ( waves to the Golden one )

          May 27, 2016
          1. superwomanrocks

            I’m not sure if I should praise your problem solving skills or your flair for the english language ..
            Thanks…

            May 28, 2016
            1. Nightbane

              Neither, only remind yourself firmly Nightbane’s an opinionated relic witha tendency to run – on sentence.

              May 28, 2016
  2. GoldenPig2012

    Hmph. You might have lost a battle you won’t share with us, but, honey, if you’re breathing, you haven’t lost the war. Babe, I KNOW tired, fucking TIRED. Go sleep, then, get up, gear up and go forth into whatever it is you see before you. You aren’t alone unless you choose to be.

    May 26, 2016
    1. superwomanrocks

      Yes … on my way to doing that … Thanks

      May 28, 2016
      1. GoldenPig2012

        Right here if you need me.

        May 28, 2016
        1. superwomanrocks

          Yes yes … I need all of you .. don’t go anywhere …

          May 29, 2016
          1. GoldenPig2012

            chuckle, chuckle, oh, honey………….there’s a LOT of people that wish I’d just drop off the face of the earth without fanfare, but, I REFUSE because………..well, like you, this life is mine, MINE, by God, and I don’t go anywhere without a fight. So, I’m here until you tell me to get lost, but I won’t go far.

            May 31, 2016
            1. superwomanrocks

              Nah ! … I’m not letting you go anywhere … even if you want to .. you have to tolerate my rants now .. cause we’re friends .. he he ..

              May 31, 2016
  3. GoldenPig2012

    superwomanrocks, fine, eye roll, shrug, chuckle, I’ll be here. I won’t leave you alone, I don’t leave MINE alone, ever. Even, sad smile, when they want me to, so, that’s fair warning.

    May 31, 2016
    1. superwomanrocks

      Okay !

      June 01, 2016
  4. domis1938

    Failure is also the part of life and you shouldn’t regret it if you are facing it. There are many writing a thesis statement for a research paper in the life where we are unable to see make the decisions that are not able to lead us to success but failure.

    December 24, 2016
  5. honestycounts

    Don’t sound too good

    April 05, 2017
    1. superwomanrocks

      That was about a year ago my friend . I am struggling with quite a few things … but don’t worry I don’t give up .. Atleast I’m trying not to ..

      April 05, 2017